New Makeup Techniques…Dear Gods

“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.”

― Yves Saint Laurent

I am a girly girl, sometimes.  Other times I cannot be bothered, but I have been lucky; my complexion has been pretty amazing my entire life, but I am 37 now and well, somethings just need to be covered.  I have always been good with applying makeup, but somethings are beyond me. Two good examples are contour/highlighting and cat eyes. (Why is that damn eyeliner flip so difficult!?!?)  I have been researching using youtube, and hilarity ensued this weekend while I was preparing for a date. (Could it be working?? Love Potion #9)

I knew that I was going to be trying something new, so I gave myself a full hour to get ready just in case.  (Just so you can tell how well it went, I was still late.) It was an afternoon date ending with a karaoke night so I decided to go with night makeup.  I got out of the shower and laid on my bed watching the contouring video here.  After it was over, I was sure that I was ready.  Previously, I had ordered these cool cat eye stamp eyeliner things.  Supposed to make it easy. (Nope!)  With my tools, I stood in front of the mirror, music on, ready to go.  Luckily, I am able to laugh at myself.

Contour What?

I use a liquid foundation, which I applied first, but powder highlighter/contour.  According to the video, you apply the highlighter first. Using powder is harder to see than using cream, at least in comparison to the video, but I put it everywhere she said.  Triangle under the eyes, a little on my nose, chin and forehead. Next I grabbed the darker color (I’m not going to lie, I don’t even know what it is called) for contouring. Fishy face, for the hollow of the cheeks, around the jaw line and on either side of the nose. (I do have to say, at the end, my nose did look awesome and thinner.) I contoured my forehead and the edges of my face.  It was shocking, but not bad. Now to blend.

Now, apparently, what looks blended under the lights of the vanity is not the same as looking blended in regular light. ( A mental note I made to myself while sitting in the car vigorously trying to blend my fully made up face in the car on the way to the movie theater.)  Once done, I sprayed my setting spray, then moved on. I added blush, which I always wear, so no scariness there. Then I moved onto my eyes. Goddess help me.

Eye Makeup No Go

I brought out my trusty liquid purple eyeshadow, my amazing mascara, and my new fancy stamps and I (thought) was ready to go.  Now I always curl my lashes before I get started with anything so that I don’t get my curler dirty. Well, if my failure at this was any indication of how the process was going to go (and it was), I should have just quit right then and there.  I don’t know what was wrong with me? I was catching my eye lid and was all over the place. Ouch.

I am not good with liquid eyeliner, I usually use cream, but I had high hopes.  Hopes that were soon dashed. Now the stamp did not come with directions, because why would it?  Of course it is waterproof, tear proof, sweat proof. It is pretty much stuck to your skin forever.  Moment of truth… and I stamped in the wrong place. I am still not 100% sure where the right place is, but it was not where I put it.  

Of course I was like “I can totally fix this”. No, no I couldn’t.  I took the pen section and swiped across the edge of my upper lid. Kind of squiggly, but not terrible.  Then I opened my eye without letting it dry (This is a thing?) Yup, I got a HUGE black curved line on my lower brow.  Waterproof, sweat proof… yea it was bad. I finally had to submit and grab the eye makeup remover. Even that didn’t work all that well.  I ended up trying to blend it in with the eyeshadow, did the best I could with it, but I kind of looked like I got punched in the eyes; however I was late so I had to go with it.  I finished up with the mascara and ran out the door.

Moral of the Story

Learned a great lesson though, when trying new makeup techniques, don’t do it when you have a date.  Way too much pressure, and not enough room for error.

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