Creepers are everywhere.

“Social Media, noun
A term to describe the current state of the Internet and the place where the consumers’ attention is.”

~Gary Vaynerchuk

When online dating, you get your fair share of creepy people.  Those looking for hookups, begging to come over, constant messages, and the holy grail, the unsolicited dick pics.  Seriously. Dudes, just stop. You would think that months of online dating would prepare me for the world of advertising on social media.  Nope. Instagram creepers, bring yuck to a whole new level.

Don’t get me wrong, 99.9% of my followers are amazing, but it is that damn 1% that makes me lose my faith in humanity. Yes, it really is that bad.  Below is a list of my creepy interactions on Instagram for the last two weeks.

Those people who follow you and like every single one of your 350 posts since 2013.  Really? I appreciate the enthusiasm, but who has that kind of time?

The bots! They are the best, and they never go away.  View my webcam here! Click on this link! Free chat! Nope.

This one was great, and I quote (grammar and all). “ I like what I see on your profile and I’ll like you to me my sugar baby.  I have been divorced for 2 years now! Willing to pay $500 weekly.” What exactly am I doing on my profile that would make you think I want a sugar daddy?  Please tell me so I can stop.

Buy my (enter dirty product, service, body, etc here).  No, I don’t want any of that, none of it, you creepy man.

Where do you live? Um… nice try.

Do you want to make money? Well yea, but that is kind of vague.  

This one was the worst.  He said he was deployed overseas with the Army and wanted someone to talk to.  Then, he said he wanted me to be his woman.  Weird.  A few searches and it turns out he was lying.  There is a special place in hell for you sir.

All of this in 14 days… it really is impressive.  Thank you to all of my awesome followers, and to you creepers…. Just stop.

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